Intuitive Eating

Howdy there y’all! It’s a rainy day here … plus my car has a low tire, and Discount Tire isn’t open on Sundays. Ah well. We’ll figure something out, and it’s not flat, so here’s hoping that it stays full enough to get to Discount on Monday.

All three kitties were being *VERY* needy for attention this morning … Calliope literally SAT on top of my head wanting scratches, something that she never does.

Today I’m trying something that’s a bit of a deviation from my nutritional plan – the plan made me feel very sick yesterday because I ate so stinkin’ much and my little stomach and shriveled digestive system just isn’t used to so much food in my body. So I’m going to eat a bit more intuitively while trying to follow the nutritional plan, keeping protein and carb amounts in mind.

Food is simply fuel, after all, and I’m trying to fuel my body for my workouts and my day in general. That’s my new mantra: “Nothing to fear, food is fuel!”

Breakfast – 9:30 a.m.

Today I scrambled egg whites mixed with one egg and three slices of crispy bacon topped with salsa. A pretty straightforward breakfast, simple, good, filling I theoretically could have added some leafy green baby spinach or some cheese to my eggs, but I simply forgot! I had that sleepy Sunday morning slump, after all! Coffee to drink with cashew milk and stevia (my typical mix).

After breakfast and some loafing about, I headed to Walmart for a few necessary provisions (and an unnecessary pair of the softest and stretchiest $5 leggings … they had OWLS on them, people, and I ADORE owls). I had another coffee when I came home. Brrr, it was chilly out!Lunch – 1:00 p.m.

I decided yesterday that  I would switch up the mealtime at which I eat oatmeal – I’m going to try it for lunch before working out. No, we didn’t workout today because we were both tired from yesterday’s workout (my pectorals especially were sore), and because it was just a lazy and rainy day (excuses, excuses, I know), but I had oatmeal anyway. My mix was 1/2 C Quaker Oats with cashew milk, half a banana, 1 tbsp of chia seeds, about 1/4 C of pumpkin, salt, vanilla, and cinnamon, and nutmeg. A spoonful of peanut butter was added, of course. Water to drink.

I had to take some Pepto after this meal as the left side of my stomach began to hurt, as per usual. I’m on two medications for my stomach, and they sure seem to help, but sometimes Pepto is what I need to settle my tummy down.

After my lunch, I DEEP CLEANED the apartment for about two hours. Fun times, especially pulling globs of cat hair out of the vacuum and mopping the concrete floors.

Luke went to run an errand and returned with a HUGE surprise for me – a hand painted Wonder Woman Yeti Mug! I was completely off-guard, my man is just so thoughtful and sweet to me. I’m lucky to have him in my life.

I immediately made some green tea to drink out of it! 🙂

I also had some extra money that I’d saved up, and since I need a new pair of shoes for fall and winter, I ordered a pair of Women’s Wool Loungers in Kotare Olive from AllBirds.com. I’ve heard a TON of great things about AllBirds products, so I’m excited for mine to arrive!

Snack – 4:00 p.m.

For one of my snacks today, I had a piece of Sargento Mozzarella string cheese and a few slices of mesquite roasted turkey. Easy peasy.

Snack – 5:00 p.m.

I was starting to get really snack-y again around 5, so I cut up some red bell pepper and washed some baby carrots, sprinkled them with salt and pepper, and placed them in a bed of Pine Nut Hummus and enjoyed. I also had a GT’s Lavender Love Kombucha. Yum!

Dinner – 7:00 p.m.

I kept it pretty simple tonight for dinner – I roasted some broccoli and asparagus with S+P in the oven and topped them with 1/2 C of brown rice and some BBQ chicken. I drizzled Toasted Sesame Ginger Dressing over the top.

I did have to take more Pepto after dinner, but that’s okay. I know my stomach is just adjusting to this new lifestyle, and I’ll get there, slowly but surely. I probably won’t post my meals *everyday* as that’s a bit of a chore, but  this is a good example of what I’ll be eating.

I’m disappointed that we didn’t workout today, but we will go tomorrow. Tonight as I type this, I’m saddened that I allowed myself to fall into the trap of anorexia again this summer and ruined all of the progress that I had made with lifting in the spring. Luke assures me that I’ll look great by the end of the year if I’m consistent with my eating and my workouts, and I do believe him.

Here’s to a bright day tomorrow, my friends.

~ Mandy

My Nutritional Plan

I received a nutrition plan from Luke’s friend Sam who works at our local Total Nutrition. He’s also making me a workout plan.

Here it is:

For snacks, I can have anything with protein in it, not just protein powder, and I can switch up my protein and veggies if so desired. This plan is just a really good guideline for me. This is a ton of food for my shriveled little stomach, but Luke and Sam promised me that my system will get used to it. I can technically tailor this plan to fit my smaller stomach, so I may deviate a little bit, but the principle will remain the same – more protein, some carbs, some veggies.

Breakfast – 8:00

Breakfast was difficult for me this morning because I usually don’t eat breakfast at all and wasn’t too hungry … but I pushed through it and ultimately enjoyed a mix of 1/2 C of Quaker Oats, 1 tablespoon of chia seeds, pumpkin, salt, nutmeg, cinnamon, and vanilla with a spoonful of PB. I also had a boiled egg on the side for my protein. Next time I may save my egg for my first snack … this breakfast left me very full!

Snack #1 – 10:45

Sweet and spicy tuna with celery sticks. I’ll be honest here – I only ate one celery stick and saved the rest for later as I was still very full from breakfast. At least the tuna tasted great! Again, I think I’ll save my breakfast egg for my first protein snack.

Lunch -12:30

I had a portion of BBQ roasted chicken and half a cup of rice for lunch.

Workout – 1:00

Luke and I went to our newly renovated Planet Fitness and were truly impressed by what we saw! We did arms and chest today for about an hour … back again tomorrow!

Snack #2 – 3:00

I truly was hungry after my session at the gym, so I ate the rest of my spicy tuna with some cucumbers, cauliflower, and hummus.

I also had a few bites of chicken with BBQ sauce:

I also had an un-pictured palm-full of almonds and a small apple.

Dinner – 7:30

I wasn’t feeling dinner, to be honest, so I simply had a hamburger with Gouda cheese and spinach on a potato roll.

Alrighty, that’s my spiel for today! I ate a TON of me today, and I think I’ll have to modify my diet a bit tomorrow.

Later gator,

~ Mandy

 

 

Back to the Gym I Go

I decided to hit the gym today with Luke. I’ve gained 3 pounds – I’m at 117.8 lbs, and I’m hoping to level out around 123 – 125 lbs … I realize that as my muscles get bigger, my weight is going to go up, and I’m okay with that as long as it’s not FAT. I’m just keeping it real – I fear getting fat. I do not fear being muscular – in fact, I want to work on embracing my physical fitness and not fret if I gain muscle weight.

We did free weights (arms and back), several machines (mainly arms), and I did one leg machine before Luke noticed that I was walking funny … he told me to not overdo it as I haven’t been to the gym in a month or so, and I decided I was done. We were there for about an hour!

Here’s a few  snaps from Luke – I look exhausted, and that’s because I am! Anorexia IS exhausting, but I’m trying to eat more protein and more calories in general.

After our workout, I made a giant smoothie for Luke and I to split … it was delicious! 🙂

My stomach meds caused me to be very nauseous and uncomfortable after dinner …. I’m hoping the doctor can help me tomorrow!

~ Mandy

On Relapse and Getting Back on Track

Howdy all. If you’ve been reading my blog, you may have noticed that I deleted all of my old posts. I need to start fresh, and I’ll explain why:

It turns out that I relapsed back with the anorexia. I’ve told ya that this eating disorder shit is very difficult and serious. This is me at 5’10” and 115 lbs. I look scrawny, fragile, frail, and exhausted. I want to change this immediately.

Now I’m back at blogging, and I want to start working out again and *try* to battle this eating disorder and get healthier mentally and physically. I’m a little too loopy from a pain med today (more on this below) to go to the gym, so Luke and I made a pact to go tomorrow. 🙂

Physically, I’ve been having stomach troubles. I’m not sure if it’s related to the anorexia or not, but last night around 9:30, I had to make a trip to the ER because the pain was so terrible.

Me with the good ol’ barf bag (thankfully I didn’t have to use it). They gave me some Benadryl, morphine, a med for nausea, a hydrocodone,  and a gross concoction of a stomach relaxer which I had to swallow (yuck). I was sent home with prescriptions for pain and stomach relaxation.

The general consensus among my EMT-trained husband and the ER doctor is that I have gastritis or a stomach ulcer, and I’m seeing my primary care doctor on Tuesday to see what he has to say – he may refer me to my gastroenterologist for an endoscopy (which I sincerely hope doesn’t turn into a colonoscopy too because the prep for that is just miserable).

Mentally, I was extremely rapid cycling with my bipolar in July and into mid-August – like, every few minutes, I’d change from being depressed to manic. It was TERRIBLE. After several crazy visits to my psychiatrist and an *interesting* incident, I’m on a new medication. I’m erring on the side of low and anxious right now, but it’s better than being rapid cycling.

As for the blog, I’m not sure where I’ll head with it – some days I might post my eats or about my workouts or just random thoughts. I want this place to be a safe spot to write and share anything that my heart desires.

Til tomorrow …

~ Mandy