Howdy there! How are you doing today?
Drogo was out trolling around this morning (he needed a snack today, so we got him a mouse! I took pics of him eating, but I didn’t think it would be very appetizing to post them on a blog based around food, ha!) … Calliope thought Drogo was mighty interesting this morning and was sitting atop his cage, leering at him!
I made pumpkin banana oats for breakfast – my usual mix with some granola, honey, and peanut butter on top. Gotta get in those good carbs! (I promise I’ll start making different things for breakfast, I’m stuck in an oatmeal rut right now … not that I can complain, I just adore oatmeal).
Soon after breakfast, I got dressed, braided my ratty-ass hair, drove to the gym, and did an hour on the elliptical while listening to Miss Saigon (that show is POWERFUL). The machine claimed I burned 550 calories, but I take that with a grain of salt. Would be great if it’s true though, and it’s highly encouraging regardless! I felt GREAT after my workout, and I’m happy to say that I’m having much more energy these days.
My curious cat friends were sunning themselves when I got home.
I was pretty hungry, so lunch was roasted broccoli, carrots, baby avocado, and mushrooms sprinkled with some dry Hidden Valley Ranch and Parmesan cheese and topped with a drizzle of Fiesta Ranch and hummus (like I said, I was HUNGRY, so I went a little overboard on the veggies). I added some cottage cheese topped with strawberries and honey on a bed of spinach to round out my meal. Easy peasy, tasty, and very filling!
Luke and I went to Planet Fitness to lift weights at 3:00, and we were done by 3:55. Luke is on 1-Testosterone and Decabolin, so he’s been a BEAST at the gym recently. The man was doing 405 lbs (the cap) on the leg press and wasn’t struggling at all. Ridiculous! I can do 300 lbs on the leg press, but I’m not near being able to do 400 lbs! (I wish we had taken “before” pictures of Luke, but we didn’t … poop! But he’s looking AMAZING.)
I baked some Honey Soy Chicken with bacon tonight and roasted some sweet potato rounds, some mushrooms, and some broccoli. Delicious (although I think I put too much soy sauce in the mix) and simple. I was STUFFED after this meal, y’all, and subsequently had to fight some purge urges.
Purge urges suck, y’all. My brain says “you’re too full, so you should get rid of whatever is in your stomach making you feel gross” … my heart, on the other hand, tells me that I don’t need to purge and need to keep my food inside me for nourishment. It’s a battle of brain v. heart here! My eating disordered thinking was at bay today until tonight after I ate dinner, then it hit me like a train. It’s not an easy fight, my friends, but I’m WINNING, and I am PROUD.
I’m not shy about my struggles because, hey, maybe I’ll help someone else out there who’s stuck in the horror that is an eating disorder. That’s my main goal in writing this blog – to be open and honest about mental health and eating disorder recovery.
I ended up having a few jelly beans after dinner, which is a positive sign that my brain calmed down with the protesting. I’d been craving jelly beans for a while now, so I bought some Starburst Jelly Beans at the store, and they’re so tasty (terrible for me, I know, but there’s worse things out there than a handful of jelly beans).
Here’s to a bright tomorrow, y’all!