A State of Mania

Howdy there! How are you doing on this fine Saturday?

I woke up feeling very low energy and a little moody yesterday, y’all. I’m not sure why exactly, but there it is. I made some salted caramel tea with stevia and tried to boost my mood a bit by watching Travel Channel … I wasn’t very hungry, so I skipped breakfast.

I went to the gym around 10 and managed 45 minutes on the elliptical before needing to come home and eat! Note to self: don’t try to work out without eating something first!

I had two hard boiled eggs at 11 (my hunger suddenly dropped off upon coming home) with some mustard and S+P.

At noon, I was looking for something fast and simple, so I heated up some BBQ meatloaf and ate up my leftover salad from The Bagel Place. Yum! Talk about some tasty leftovers. That salad was so tasty!

The cats were very interested in Mr. Drogo today … Calliope and Caprica were sitting on Drogo’s cage looking sweet until Calliope batted Caprica away! Nasty things. Calliope looked particularly angelic too (despite being a batty-boo towards Caprica).

Luke and I drove to the gym again, and I made a new friend named Amanda (that’s my name too, ha! I won’t forget that easily) who works at Planet Fitness. She’s such a sweetheart, and I’m glad to have finally made her acquaintance! Luke and I did weights for about 50 minutes, and I felt AMAZING once we were done! I need to lift weights often, even if it’s by myself, because it makes me feel so wonderful.

Caprica bothered Luke after our workout … she wanted attention! Here’s where it gets weird: I became utterly MANIC after Luke left for work. I mean, like CRAZY MANIC. My mania usually entails an urge to CLEAN EVERYTHING. That’s exactly what I did! I cleaned out the fridge, the microwave, the doors, the floors, the baseboards … everything.

So what caused my mania? I took an extra Gabapentin. Dr. Jenkins told me to increase my Gaba from 600 mg to 1200 mg for my frequent anxiety attacks.

I’ve held off on taking my extra Gaba for a few days since I talked to Rachael, the wonderful and caring nurse, but today I decided to try it. I think my mania is just my body trying to get used to the new dosage, and that’s okay! I’d much rather be manic than depressed … that sounds horrid, but it’s true for me because I get so much DONE when I’m manic … don’t get me wrong, mania is not fun sometimes … today, though, it was ABSOLUTELY awesome!

I’m not trying to glamorize mania as it’s hellish for many people. For me, it’s not hellish (for the most part). It’s wonderful and euphoric. Today I’m feeling on top of the world, and that’s okay. It’s just part of the mania. I know it’ll subside soon, probably after I sleep it off.

When I’m in such a manic state, I don’t want to eat, period. I forced myself to eat some cucumbers and salsa around 5 p.m. ….

…. and around 7 p.m. I forced myself to eat some melon. I just wasn’t interested in eating very much at all due to the mania.

My mania subsided a little bit, and I went on a walk with my mom and Boomer, her ancient Shih Tzu. I’m going to be watching Mr. Booms for about 10 days starting on Tuesday, and I’m thrilled to help out my mom while she goes on a trip to Seattle!

After the walk, I was finally hungry around 9:30, so I roasted some broccoli, carrot, and green beans with seasoning and EVOO. I served them with a dash of Toasted Sesame Ginger Sauce. I also added the rest of the meatloaf to the pile with some BBQ sauce (I needed some protein, after all).

My eating isn’t where it needs to be, I realize – I didn’t eat all that much today, but that’s perfectly okay. Mania is a tricky beast for me, and I just wasn’t all that interested in food.

That’s my spiel for the day – are you ever manic or suffer from mental health issues?

~ Mandy


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