Hi there and Happy Monday! I’ve been feeling a little low today in the mood department (i.e. fuzzy in the head, overall tired compared to my usual energetic self) … I think it’s due to taking extra Gabapentin for my anxiety attack yesterday, so I’m happy that I won’t have to take any extra anytime soon. My anxiety attacks happen about once every two weeks now, and I’m handling the situation as best I can. Extra gaba helps as does hot tea and deep breathing.
I’ve been struggling with food more than usual recently too. It’s so easy to want to restrict, y’all. I struggle with feeling too full still, even after I’ve just eaten an apple. I keep telling myself that I’m absolutely not fat and if I *feed* my body properly, I’ll gain muscle weight. I haven’t been feeding my body correctly (during my blogging hiatus, I ate mainly vegetables), and I must remedy that … I think I did a good job today! Today I ate three big meals and two snacks, and I think I’m going to take a lesson from my achy stomach and try three smaller meals and two snacks tomorrow.
This morning around 8 after I went to check on Mr. Boomer (I’m watching him since my mom is out of town), I made banana pumpkin oatmeal in a jar! My mix was 1/2 C of Quaker Oats, 1 C soy milk, 1/2 of a banana, chia seeds, almond slivers, coconut bits, cinnamon, vanilla, pumpkin pie spice, salt, and pumpkin stirred in the end. Topped with banana, granola, and peanut butter. I just adore oatmeal because it keeps me full throughout the morning. Yes, it’s a bit of a carb overload, but that’s okay! It’s ENERGY. I need to branch out from my oatmeal rut and try some eggs and toast in the morning, so perhaps that’s what I’ll eat tomorrow.
Around 11, I had a Pacific Rose apple with cinnamon … I just love my daily apple!
Lunch time! I baked some Pioneer Woman Perfect Salmon with some roasted broccoli and brown rice complete with some stir fry sauce (it’s just soy sauce, brown sugar, rice vinegar, garlic, cornstarch, and a bit of chicken broth with some sesame seeds mixed in).
After lunch, I felt literally stuffed and fat and ugly. I’m still working on dealing with the sensation of feeling full, y’all. I look at myself in the mirror and see this bloated, gross person staring back at me … I know in my heart that I’m neither ugly nor fat, but my brain likes to tell me otherwise. ED’s are a battle of the brain, my friends, and my brain LOVES lying to me about my looks and my feelings. My stomach also sends signals after I eat which scream “I’m UNCOMFORTABLE! You should purge!” … it’s a big battle, I ain’t gonna sugarcoat it. But I’m dealing with it as best I can.
Luke had the day off today, so we relaxed – Luke hurt his back recently and needed to chill out – and petted kitty cats …
Luke made us bison burgers for dinner with pepper jack cheese, and I roasted some sweet potato. We added fresh heirloom tomato, romaine, and pickle to the burgers. Ketchup on the side for dipping. Mango kombucha to drink for me, strawberry ale for Luke. Very yummy!