Howdy there! How are you doing today? My post is a little bit off today compared to my usual eats. Father’s Day has brought up a host of anxiety and mania for me (bad memories of my father, ya know – he’s the source of my PTSD, and it’s difficult).
I texted my Dad and wished him a happy Father’s Day, and then he unfortunately texted back that I needed to come see him today and watch DVDs on his sound system. I FREAKED, y’all.
My Dad and I don’t talk very much – we never call but only text, and we text very rarely – so this development just threw my anxiety into high gear. I raced around the apartment doing nothing at all – I was in full blown panic mode! Luckily I was honest and told my Dad that I didn’t feel well enough to get out to see him today, and that was that. After I did that, I fell into a manic state and started deep cleaning like a fiend (that’s what I do when I’m manic, y’all, I CLEAN).
Breakfast was a nice big Ambrosia apple. I wasn’t in the mood for peanut butter or cinnamon on it, I just wanted to taste the apple in all of it’s pure glory, so I went with it.
Here’s where my day gets weird: I truly wasn’t hungry at all. Something about Father’s Day put me off food, I think – it brings up high anxieties and bad memories for me, and my mania and panic didn’t help one bit. Throughout the day, I sipped on ice cold water, and for some reason, it kept me very satisfied.
At 3:00, I had a coffee with salted caramel chocolate creamer and thoroughly enjoyed it. Still not hungry. In fact, I had a knot in my stomach after I drank my coffee.