Hi there! How are you doing today? My moods have been pretty stable lately, and I’m very thankful! Bipolar disorder is a harsh mistress sometimes, and I still experience bizarre moods throughout the day, but I like to think that I’ve been in a balanced way lately (I’ll have to ask Luke, of course, as he’s the ultimate gauge for my moods, but I think I’ve been steady).
I admit that I had giant LOW and a good cry over my body yesterday … I was convinced that my stomach looked terrible! That’s just part of it, I think, but it sucks when it happens. I’m trying to keep positive and look at any changes in my body as a positive thing, not a detrimental one. After all, my body *is* going to change if I keep working out and eating well. It’s NOT a bad thing at all! I’m just so used to being extremely thin and disordered that it’s hard to see any change, but I’m working on adjusting my perspective.
I’m upping my protein intake for real this time, y’all. I want to see results, so I need to get with the program and stop living off fruits and veggies. So today and from now on, my focus will be on protein, protein, protein. My eats may become a little boring as I tend to eat the same thing once I find a good balance, but I like sharing them on here regardless. 🙂
Breakfast this morning was around 9; I ate two eggs with about a tablespoon of shredded Mexican Blend cheese, S+P, and salsa. 1 cup of coffee with creamer to drink … I’m going to try cutting back. I wasn’t terribly hungry for breakfast, so I had a relatively small meal, but since it was packed with protein, it kept me full until lunch.
Soon after breakfast, I had an inkling to hit the gym. I felt a bit gross because I hadn’t taken a shower, but I washed my face, put on deodorant, put my hair into low pigtails, and I went anyway! I did the elliptical for 30 minutes and walked/ran a bit on the treadmill. I felt *so much better about my body* after exercising, y’all.
My goal is to start doing 30 minutes a day on cardio and keep up with weights – I’d do a hour on the elliptical for a few days in a row and then get burnt out and just do weights. By doing just 30 minutes, I’m getting many health benefits, such as a mood boost, and I can create a little deficit, which I do want (I’d like to lose some more belly fat to show dem abs!). If I’m feelin’ frisky, I can do 30 minutes twice a day. I don’t need to do an entire hour in one setting though … it just makes me too tired, and I need to avoid burn-out.
Luke woke up early and wanted to go to O’Reilly’s for some bike stuff, so I went with him. 🙂 He was up and at ’em and worked on his bike all afternoon. Yes, it’s parked inside the apartment … no, I don’t mind! We don’t want it to get stolen like Luke’s old one, so it needs to stay inside with us.
Random, but I want to decorate the wall where the bike is – it’s stark white right now, and it just bugs the crap outta me! I’m gonna go to TJ Maxx and Ross to see about some cheap wall decor. I have to do something about that white space, damn it!
Lunch was at 1:00, and I enjoyed 6 oz of baked BBQ chicken (yep, I’m weighing out my proteins), roasted onion, broccoli, cauliflower, and red bell pepper all placed on a bed of spinach with Fiesta Ranch and a little extra Stubb’s BBQ sauce. It was delicious! Chicken salads are a “safe” food for me now, which is GREAT.
Vanilla chai tea with almond-coconut milk and stevia was my beverage of choice with lunch. Tea literally keeps me sane during the day as it’s something to sip and keep my tummy full – it truly helps with purge urges, in my opinion, but those urges are starting to fade.
One of my little “mini-goals” today was to start re-learning how to properly braid my hair! I did two French braids down the back, and although they need to be cleaned up a bit, they looked good enough to wear for the rest of the day, so I was pleased with myself. I want to learn how to do fish-tail braids again too. 🙂 (Not the most flattering pic of me – the shadow makes me look like I have major crows feet, but I was proud, ha!) I want to have much longer hair, and I need to learn how to braid again.
I wasn’t very hungry around my usual dinnertime due to my large snack. Instead, I watched TV and simply vegged out in my cozy old blue socks (they are getting holes in them, damn it, but I still wear them because they’re so damn comfortable). The apartment was very clean, so I didn’t have any catching up to do this evening, which made me happy. I had planned on going back to the gym to do 30 more minutes of cardio, but I was ultimately too lazy return to the gym … oh well! I already went once, so that’s good enough for a Friday night.
I had my kombucha cocktail around 6:30 … Gingerade this time because my tummy needed some soothing after my big snack! Dinner was much later than usual, but that’s perfectly fine with me! I had more BBQ chicken with roasted onion and broccoli and a bit of rice drizzled with some ranch, BBQ, and a dab of salsa. Easy peasy, yum, yum.