Working on Myself, for Myself, by Myself

Howdy, howdy! Happy Hump Day! How are you doing?

My digestive tract was *not* happy this morning – my lower belly was full of sharp pains and aches, and I was using the bathroom all night long! I wonder if the rich deer liver upset my tummy, but I ate it the night before last and was fine, so I’m not sure. I didn’t even really feel like coffee this morning, which means I *do not* feel well. I laid in bed for a while with my sleeping husband, and I tried to meditate away the pain. Meditation does help me when I’m hurting. Finally I got up and started moving around with this little mantra in my head:

I am indeed working hard on myself! I’m still around 122 lbs (I was 122.6 lbs this morning), and I’m working on building muscle mass and eating in a healthy way, non-eating disordered way. I’m working, working, working on myself, and it’s AMAZING to feel and see a difference in my whole persona.

Breakfast

I made pumpkin banana oatmeal for breakfast at 8:45 this morning in an attempt to soothe my intestines – 1/2 C of Quaker Oats, 1 C of cashew milk, chia seeds, hemp seeds, salt, vanilla, nutmeg, cinnamon, and a banana with pumpkin stirred in at the end. I topped it with some honey, white chocolate and cranberry granola, and a spoonful of good ol’ runny organic PB.

I ended up eating ALL of my oatmeal – I was concerned about my tummy, so I ate very slowly, but turns out that I needed all the nourishment I could get this morning. Somehow the oatmeal did soothe my gut, so I’m happy I ate it – it was delicious and healing.

After breakfast, I ran to Walmart to buy some things to make deer backstrap stir fry. I bought bok choy, broccoli, carrots, onion, mushrooms, baby corn, kale, brown rice, and a few other goodies for it!

I started with the veggies …

… and then I sauteed the marinated deer! I added stir fry sauce at the end after I mixed the deer and veg together in my giant skillet, and I made rice in the rice cooker simultaneously. Talk about an easy, healthy, and delicious meal. I sure hope Luke likes it tonight! 😉

Lunch

I dug into one of my current obsessions to start lunch – OPAL APPLES! Y’all. Opal apples taste SO MUCH BETTER than honeycrisp … heck, they even rival my other favorite, envy apples. Honeycrisp apples don’t have much of a taste to me for some reason, but opal apples taste so clean, crisp, and have a delightful and juicy note of sweetness to them.

I felt pretty today for my psychiatrist appointment at 1:20, so I had Luke snap a pic of me with Persephone. Yes, I’m wearing my new Dolman from Anthropologie and JUST ADORE IT … more on that below, ha!

I snapped an impromptu fashion pic in the bathroom to show off my new clothing – I look a bit silly taking a picture in a mirror, but hey, I’m just being real here. I LOVE me some fashion, especially Free People and Anthropologie. I can’t believe I scored two Dolmans from Anthro during their 30% off sale – they were originally $78, and I scored them for just under $28 each. Perfect for wearing alone as a dress or with some pants! I was also wearing my James Avery Texas charm today. Nothing too fancy, but I felt pretty, which is important 🙂

Right before I left for my psychiatrist appointment, I had a Gingerade Kombucha to try and soothe my intestines further … they were starting to feel a little better at this point of the day, and a kombucha hit the spot for lunch!

I had nothing but good things to say at my appointment today – I’m not losing weight, I’m eating well, I’m not throwing up at all, and the Xanax is keeping my panic attacks at bay almost fully … my Rexulti and Latuda are also keeping my moods very stable, so I’m thankful! Dr. Jenkins was thrilled with my progress. I also received two compliments on my Dolman, and Brenda the receptionist remarked on how well I’m looking, so I must be doing something right. 😉

Upon arriving home, I found Luke playing the Xbox with a very smug Calliope sitting on top of it!

I made some cookies (simple Nestle walnut chocolate chip ones from Walmart that I picked up for $2.50) and planned on eating one or two, but my intestinal situation had flared back up, and I just didn’t want any at the time. Yuck, this intestinal shit sucks. 😦

Snack

Still feeling icky in my intestinal tract, I wanted fruit as a snack today around 3:00 as it would be light and easy on my system. I added a sprinkling of sugar to some red raspberries and black grapes (my last ones, boo) and enjoyed them with a giant mug of hot chai tea.

I also had a Chobani Flip yogurt in Peanut Butter Dream, thinking that the yogurt might help my poor system out! Plus I didn’t have much of a lunch – hello, apple and kombucha – so I needed a little more fortification for the afternoon. Man, that yogurt hit the spot! (I also took my afternoon Xanax around 3:30.)

Around 4:15, I had a handful of trail mix too!

Dinner

I started dinner off early with some raw carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower with S+P in some hummus and with some light Fiesta ranch.

And then I ended with some deer stir fry and rice. It was good but VERY filling. I think I ate too much of it as my stomach was a bit cramp-y afterwards – a smaller bowl would have sufficed, but what was done was done. (My picture is a bit dark and out of focus here, but that’s what went into my stomach!)

Alrighty, that’s all I’ve got for today! Here’s hoping you had a great one!

~ Mandy

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