Howdy there! Long time, no post – I’ve been pretty scattered mentally lately, but I’d like to get back on track today. I’ve been a touch low and struggling with depression on most days, but I’m feeling a little better today, so I’ll try my hand at blogging.
I’d like to talk a little bit about coming to terms with my weight. I currently weigh about 138 lbs (according to the doctor’s office), and it’s not an easy number to come to terms with when I’m used to weighing 110-125 lbs.
Why is it so hard, I ask? I don’t know! I’ve gained a ton of muscle weight, and my muscle is dense, so of course it’s going to weigh more. It’s all MENTAL – my brain says that a higher weight = fat, but that’s simply not true. A higher weight can also = MUSCLE, and that’s what’s going on with me. Everyone who knows me says I look better than I have in my entire life, so I must be doing something right!
Plus I *know* that I’m not defined by a number anymore – it’s a rough cycle to break, but I’m slowly breaking it. Luke keeps our scale in his safe, so I can’t obsess about it like I used to, and I’m grateful that he put it away. I used to be disgustingly proud of my low weight, but now I’m PROUD of my 138 lbs because it means I’ve been working hard at weightlifting, eating well, and not giving into ED behaviors.
This morning Calliope was enjoying some vigorous scratches from Luke as he woke up for school.
I fried two eggs in Pam and nuked three slices of bacon and covered the eggs in enchilada sauce and chilies. Blueberries (sans sugar) on the side. Coffee to drink.
I roasted some Brussels sprouts, carrots, and broccoli with jalapeno ranch, balsamic, and hummus for lunch. Easy peasy.
Luke and I did arms today at the gym for about 45 minutes, and although I didn’t have him snap a pic, he did snap some of my arms to show his friend (I’m very vein-y). Proof that I did, in fact, work out today! 🙂
My first snack today was a 100 calorie protein yogurt with blueberries.
The kitties decided that it would be a good time to nap this afternoon too! I wish I could nap – I’ve never been much of a napper, so I’m jealous of them!
I roasted a nice big ol’ spaghetti squash, took a portion, and I sauteed it with spinach, mozzarella cheese, Classico vodka sauce, and topped it with half of a chicken breast and two pieces of crumbled bacon.
This picture isn’t very pretty, but damn, this was tasty!
Admittedly, blogging made me *feel better* by the end of the day. I think I’ll try to do it more often, although I know I’m not the most exciting read out there.