Hello to my readers old and new!
I’m Mandy, and I’ve struggled with ED behaviors since I was a child. I thought FOR YEARS that I’d never recover after struggling for about 26 years with binging, purging, and restricting. I WAS SO WRONG!
This blog will chronicle the NEW chapter of my life after staying 33 days at the Center for Discovery in Bellevue for a residential ED program which has helped me effectively end my binging, purging, and restricting, has helped me with my traumatic past through intensive therapy, has helped me see the world, particularly the past, in a whole new positive light, has taught me that no food is “good” or “bad,” has helped me understand basic nutrition, and has improved my cooking skills with helpful new meal and snack ideas and knife skills.
I’ll be talking about what I’ve learned in bursts throughout posts as it was A TON to take in, but overall, I highly recommend the Center for Discovery programs if you’re struggling with an eating disorder, are a teenage or adult female, and if you’re looking to TRULY make a change in your life. They have programs across the country for both teens and adults, so PLEASE check them out if you’re interested in treatment and struggling, or know someone who’s struggling. Consultation is completely free, and the people you’ll talk to are *very* kind and understanding.
I just came home this Wednesday, had my counselor today, and I have my psychiatrist tomorrow as I went through a helpful medication change at Center for Discovery; I’m off Klonopin now – well, in the process of weaning off – and am on Hydroxyzine, a non-addictive option for anxiety which I just LOVE.
I’m on Cloud 9 after my treatment, you guys. AND YES, I HAVE TO KEEP IT UP AT HOME WITH AN OUTPATIENT TEAM! Eating disorder “recovery” doesn’t happen after you attend a residential program, as I did, but continues once you go home … and possibly for the rest of your life!
I make a parallel with ED recovery and my alcoholism (yes, I’m still a recovering alcoholic despite being sober for two-ish years) – you have to make positive choices and fight any urges which may arise and continue to feed yourself well. The goal of Center for Discovery is ultimately intuitive eating which you can learn more about by clicking the link. 😉
The Center for Discovery helped me find alternatives to ED behaviors, such as *joyfully* moving my body and meditation, and what to do IF I do happen to engage in a behavior – to seek support, not to berate myself for urges or behaviors, learning more about my triggers, and eating my next scheduled meal or snack.
My body is my vehicle, after all, the vehicle to my dreams – we must honor it, respect it, and FUEL it! I’m now walking with my shoulders back and head held high which is supported by the newfound confidence and independence I have as a person.We should count our blessings, not our blemishes, and we should become our body’s friend and supporter, not it’s enemy – the Three F’s are very important for our body: Fun, Fitness (not to punish or to lose weight or fight the body but rather choose a method of exercise which makes you feel JOY), and Friendship.
I’m 33 years old, y’all, and life’s too short to waste my time hating and fighting my body! I have learned to accept my traumatic past as being just that – the PAST (it’s called “radical acceptance”). Now I’m choosing to live joyfully and mindfully in the PRESENT. 🙂I’ll be completely re-doing this blog, and the old posts are a thing of the past since I was still deep in ED behaviors as I wrote them. I want to be candid about my life now, the good and the not so good.
So please bear with me as I revamp and redo my header, the format, my pictures, and my pages, and I hope you look forward to reading more about my recovery adventures!