Ultrasounds + Moods + Alcoholics and Kombucha

Howdy there! How are you today?

I got up bright and early for my ultrasound, and the results should be in by Monday, so that’s positive. My weight is down to 119 lbs today for some reason (despite eating candy due to emotional eating out of nervousness for my ultrasound), but I’m not too concerned – I’m sure it’s just a natural fluctuation because I was fasting last night and this morning.

Breakfast – 10:00 a.m.

I bought two ultimate breakfast tacos from Rosa’s Cafe and scarfed them down – I was starving after fasting! They were delicious. I also bought a chocolate mocha coffee from Roasters, our local coffee shop, and it was *divine.*

Lunch – 1:15 p.m.

I wasn’t terribly hungry after my giant breakfast, so I made my favorite veggies, roasted carrots and Brussels sprouts with Toasted Sesame Ginger Sauce, and had a turkey and provolone cheese roll-up.

Workout – 2:00 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.

My mood took a negative turn and I started crying around 2:00 … just a bipolar mood from being an empath. Luke and I went to the gym for just 30 minutes before I just couldn’t do it anymore.

At least we *went* and I tried my hardest for 30 minutes. That’s what counts, y’all. TRYING.

What *did* brighten my day and my mood was receiving this adorable shirt in the mail from Free People – it’s the We The Free Good Find Top, and man, it IS truly a good find! I also got two other items, but they are going back because they just didn’t live up to my expectations. This shirt, however, is PERFECTION. It’s comfortable, flow-y, trendy, and fun, perfect for the fall and winter … I LOVE IT! I may even buy another one with my refund money.

Snack – 4:00 p.m.

For my snack today, I had a few carrots (and some un-pictured broccoli) with hummus. Moroccan Mint Green Tea to drink.

Cocktail Hour – 6:00 p.m.

Tonight I had a Trilogy Kombucha …

On Kombucha and Being a Former Alcoholic

I had a conversation with my sister about kombucha, and she was worried because I was drinking it with my past as an alcoholic. I’m going to bring this up with my doctor next time I see him because I do not want to be harming myself in any way, but for the record, kombucha has a 0.5% – 1% naturally occurring alcohol content because of its fermentation. That’s just a little less than a non-alcoholic beer such as O’Doul’s.

I do not drink kombucha to get drunk, obviously, but I do drink it because of the health benefits, especially the healthy gut support, and because of the taste. Drinking even a little bit of alcohol at this point makes me feel very sick (see the time I made bread pudding, accidentally didn’t cook all of the alcohol out of the Kraken I used, and made myself extremely sick from eating it), and that’s the last thing I want to do to myself. But my sister made a good point – I need to ask Dr. Keister next time I see him about it, just to be sure, but I’m honestly not too concerned about my little mocktail of kombucha each night. I’ll wait to see the results of the ultrasound and go from there.

Dinner – 7:00 p.m.

Tonight I made BBQ chicken breast and veggies (cauliflower, carrots, and red bell pepper served with some Toasted Sesame Ginger Sauce). Easy peasy.

Now I’m sipping on my kombucha and watching TLC’s Kindred Spirits. Hope you had a good day. Mine was so-so mood-wise, but that’s okay … some days are better than others.

~ Mandy

Question: Do you have an opinion on alcoholics and kombucha? Yay or nay?

Up a Pound + A Workout

Howdy, howdy! How are you doing today? I’m up a pound, which is great! I’m at 121 lbs today, and I’m hoping it’s because I’m gaining some muscle. Of course, it could just be food or water weight, but I’m pretty happy right now with myself.

Squint-y Calliope says “hello” on this warm, drizzly day!

Persephone says “Leave me alone, woman, I’m trying to lounge!”

Caprica says “I’m sleeping next to my favorite human, Luke, and I’m just so pleased with myself!”

Breakfast – 10:30 a.m.

I had my usual egg white and maple bacon breakfast this morning. It was a little later than usual, but that’s okay.

Lunch –

For lunch today, I was in the mood for vegetables. I roasted some sweet potato, Brussels sprouts, carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli and topped my veg with some light Italian dressing and some hummus. .

I also had three deer meatballs drizzled with BBQ sauce. The picture is messy AF because I heated the meatballs up WITH the BBQ sauce, and it kinda exploded and caramelized.

Workout 1:45 – 2:45 p.m.

Today we braved the warm rain and did chest and back, and I did abs and a few legs.

If I keep this up for a year, imagine how I’ll look and *feel*! That’s my goal, y’all.

Snack – 3:30 p.m.

Soon after the gym, I wanted a snack, so I had an Envy apple with PB and some green tea. I also had a sip of Chobani drinkable Greek yogurt.

Cocktail Hour – 5:30 p.m.

I had a Gingerade Kombucha as my little mocktail while fretting over the ultrasound on my liver (scheduled for Friday). I’m concerned because I truly was quite the little miserable alcoholic. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts tonight … it’s hard because I’m quite the fretter.

Dinner – 6:30 p.m.

I wasn’t really very hungry, so I kept things simple with some cottage cheese, raspberries, and honey. Delish!

Now I’m watching Expedition Unknown and sipping on some tea. Hope you had a fabulous day!

~ Mandy

Rest Day + Doc Appt

Howdy there! How are you doing today? We’re having a rest day here on the workout front – we’ve been hitting it pretty hard for the past few weeks, and it just feels like a day for rest.

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, so I had to get up earlier than usual again today – no pic of my outfit because I simply washed my hair, threw on some guy clothes, and went. I’m grateful that I have such a thorough doctor who wants to keep me healthy and happy …. he noticed something going on with my liver during my last cat scan, and he wanted to talk to me about it today, just to be safe. 😉 As a former alcoholic, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve screwed up my liver through the drinking, but he has ordered an ultrasound, which should tell us more.

Breakfast – 10:00 a.m.

My usual egg whites, bacon, sausage, and salsa. Easy peasy, eaten quickly. Sorry for the blurry pic, but I was in a hurry.

After breakfast and my doctor’s appointment, I ran to the store for some food – I wanted to make more deer meatballs for Luke, so I needed a few ingredients.

Lunch – 1:20 p.m.

I baked a chicken breast with some broccoli, Brussels sprouts, bell pepper, and carrot and served it with BBQ sauce and light Italian dressing.

Snack – 2:25 p.m.

I wanted a banana and peanut butter, so I had a banana and peanut butter! YUM!

This afternoon I got cozy with some tea and made more deer meatballs. It was a bit strange not hitting the gym, but I was exhausted, and Luke was sore, so a rest day was much needed.

I had a glass of milk around 4:30 for my calcium.

Cocktail Hour – 5:30 p.m.

I tried a new-to-me Humm kombucha in coconut lime. Oh it was so tasty! It reminded me of a pie. Will definitely buy this one again! 🙂

Dinner – 7:15 p.m.

I really wasn’t in the mood for dinner, y’all. At this point in the day, I felt a bit low mood-wise and very exhausted. I sauteed some spinach and added it to the rest of my spaghetti squash, and I topped the mix with roasted carrots, sweet potato, and broccoli. I added some tomato basil sauce and two deer meatballs and some Parmesan cheese.

This meal simply didn’t taste great to me. I don’t know why – there was nothing off putting about it. I felt a bit better after I ate the meal, however, so I guess I was hungrier than I thought.

I also had some trail mix because I was craving something sweet and salty.

I wish I felt better tonight – I think the weather is being weird again for me  and is messing with my mood and energy.

But here’s to a more energetic tomorrow, my friends!

~ Mandy

 

One Day at a Time

Howdy there! Happy First Day of October! It’s that pumpkin-spiced-laced time of year now, isn’t it?

How are you doing today? I’m doing pretty well. Today was a no-makeup and a messy bun day. 😉 I also have been having digestive issues from that mayo-covered baked salmon last night, and my tummy is very pissy today (i.e. Pepto is needed), but I’ll get over it.

The stats for today:

  • 274 days sober from alcoholism
  • 85 days without vomiting up any food

I’m taking my life one day at a time right now when it comes to the ED and the mental health issues that I deal with – they’re both my struggles. Yes, my bipolar will ALWAYS be a struggle, but hopefully the eating disordered thinking will lessen with time as it’s showing to right now, just as my cravings for alcohol completely disappeared. My body dysmorphia is still rough at night when my belly is round and full, but I’m trying to push past that and simply stay STRONG and remember that my food in my full tummy is my fuel, nothing bad.

You just have to put one foot forward before the other and take it slowly but surely – that’s my motto. Just get through the day, that’s all you have to do. I’m still hanging around 120 lbs, but I’m not as concerned about that because I’m looking better, and I’m exercising and eating very well. I’m focused mainly on slowly gaining that muscle weight. Would it be *good* if I could eat a bit more? Probably, but I don’t think my sensitive digestive system could handle being more satiated – I eat a TON for me as it is, and I’m having to see my doctor about my digestive issues (I’m on some pills to help, and Pepto helps too in a pinch).

I *am* VERY happy to announce that I’m losing my irrational fear of the scale. I’m starting to associate it with positive thoughts, such as more weight being muscle gains and food/water weight, and not have such a negative attitude towards it, such as allowing it to be a constant source of panic and disgust towards myself, a personal affront.  I’m telling myself that my weight does NOT matter, but my physique DOES. And to have a good physique, I must eat very well (tons of protein) and lift weights.

Yes, I realize that my eats are probably a little bit boring – I try to eat up everything that we have before going to the store again, so I eat some of the same things over and over again. But that’s okay. This is MY blog, and if I want to share my boring eats, I’ll share my boring eats! It’s very helpful to me in beating this disorder to write about it and take pictures.

Breakfast – 10:00 a.m.

I had my usual egg whites and two turkey sausage patties for breakfast this morning with salsa on top. Still a little too filling, but I’ll work on it. Much coffee was also consumed, it was a coffee kinda morning.

Lunch -12:40 p.m.

I wasn’t too excited about lunch yet again. I simply baked some cauliflower, sweet potato, broccoli, and carrot with some seasoning salt and ate them with some hummus and Toasted Sesame Dressing. I also had a slice of deer meatloaf for my protein. I just love that meatloaf! So tasty!

Workout – 1:30 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.

We did legs today, and I did abs. To be honest, I was tired today and didn’t really want to go, but we did it anyway, and I’m so glad because I felt immensely better. No commemorative pics today as we were too busy trying to not look at some dude’s junk because he was wearing tight spandex pants and doing the leg press. Talk about gross. I’m sorry, but gross. I hope that doesn’t become a trend. Yes, I’m human, and I judge sometimes. So sue me. I’m sure some people there look at my bony body and think “gross” too … we’re all just human.

After our workout, I put on my comfy AllBirds and bleached the sinks, the toilet, and the bathtub for cleaning. Yes, I like to clean. It’s therapeutic. My first “snack” consisted of two Pepto pills and some green tea and Sprite Zero … not a very appetizing snack, I assure you, but damn, my stomach was *not* happy at this point.

Snack – 5:00 p.m.

I finally decided that I needed to stomach *something,* so I cut up some red bell pepper, placed it in a pine nut hummus container along with three slices of mesquite smoked turkey breast. I ate the turkey first to gauge my stomach and then slowly ate the red bell pepper. A good snack for an achy tummy!

Dinner – 7:00 p.m.

My stomach still wasn’t cooperating, but I needed to eat dinner, so I forged ahead and cut up a chicken breast, sprinkled it with Lawry’s Seasoning and BBQ sauce and baked it in the oven alongside some baby carrots which I drizzled with Light Italian Dressing (love that shit). I also sauteed some spinach and added it to some spaghetti squash with some vodka sauce and a dash of Parmesan.

This was an *extremely* filling meal for me, but I’m glad I ate every bite – I needed the protein.

Cocktail Hour – 7:30 p.m.

I had my usual mocktail kombucha in Trilogy tonight and sipped on it well over an hour. YUM!

Now I’m just chillin’, cleaning up a little bit more, and watching Travel Channel. I hope YOU’VE had an amazing day!

~ Mandy