New Year Updates

Howdy there! How are you doing today?

We’re low on groceries right now, so I’m keeping things simple ’round these parts today – I plan on going to the store tomorrow and making us a broccoli cheese chicken casserole, and we’re thawing a deer liver right now. I have a New Year’s cooking goal – I want to make us smaller dishes that will last only a day or two instead of baking a large casserole or dish that Luke tires of during the week. We usually waste a portion of those big casseroles, plus it’s less variety, and I want variety and smaller portioned dishes. I hope to be inspired to cook daily, and I’ll share my recipes on here if I try anything new.

I’m also inspired to eat smaller portions, just until I’m lightly full, instead of piling up a giant plate and overeating. I want to be comfortably full, not stuffed and bloated, and I also aspire to drink more water and tea throughout the day to keep my tummy nice and happy.

Now onto my simple eats for the day!

Breakfast

I needed something in my tummy around 8:30, so I had a nice big ol’ banana with PB and honey. Yum, yum! Coffee with stevia and cashew milk to drink, as always.

Calliope was asleep on the Xbox this morning, what a comfy kitty!

And Caprica, well, Caprica was where she always is – by Luke! Luke was on the phone and the computer a ton today before work trying to figure out school registration and the loan, and insurance for a car accident that he was in (it wasn’t his fault, but he still has to deal with the shit). I’m so proud of his decision to go back to school to pursue a PA degree … he’s a smart man and already has a high GPA, but he took about a year off from school to just work and clear his head. Persephone was nestled on the arm of the couch, as per usual. She has such pretty eyes … sweet, nasty kitt lit. Lunch

Around 12, I enjoyed two eggs with S+P and honey mustard and roasted broccoli and carrots with lemon pepper, hummus, and light Fiesta Ranch for lunch. Easy peasy.

TMI – I was having some diarrhea and tummy pain today, so I need to watch what I’m eating as I didn’t have *any* digestive troubles in Seattle. I need to try to replicate what I ate there – I definitely had more bread, butter, rice, more protein and yogurt, and less veggies (particularly broccoli). I ate *some* raw veggies and a few cooked veggies such as asparagus and broccolini there, so more veggies might be the cause of my diarrhea and stomach pain. So that’s where I’ll start – broccoli and other veg. I’ll try eating less of them.

Snack

I had a small Koru apple with Tajin Seasoning as a snack …

I also ate a piece of hot fresh French bread from United with a smear of butter around 3:30.

Dinner

I started dinner off with a cup of Farmer’s Market corn which we had vacuum-sealed … I just sauteed it with some butter and S+P.

A bit later (and after finding out that my car has a dead battery and won’t open, boo!), I had some smoked salmon from Seattle and some crackers. Simple but delish!

I also had some deer sausage, smoked cheddar cheese, crackers, and BBQ sauce since I was still a little hungry after the salmon.

I felt perfectly full after my dinner! Huzzah!

Mental Health

I started my day off evenly, or so I thought. When Luke started navigating his school situation around 10, I became manic for about two hours. Mania for me means feeling ‘zippy’ and hyper, sometimes anxious and chatty, as is what happened today. Then around 2 or 2:30, I fell down into a depression after taking my second Xanax for the day. Weird but not wholly unexpected after the mania. As of now, I’m trying to sort out my feelings and not fret over being low-ish … eating that carb-y piece of French bread with butter and talking to Luke for a bit before he went to work helped. Now I’m just watching Bizarre Foods America, drinking agua, and trying to stay warm! It’s a COLD COLD day out today – I believe it got to 25 degrees but is dropping as I type.

Alrighty, that’s what I’ve got for today. I’ll see if I pull a post together tomorrow or not.

Have a great night, my friends and family!

~ Mandy

 

Being a Badass

Y’all. I have AWESOME news. My eating disordered behaviors are fully AT BAY, and I LOVE IT. I’m eating well-balanced meals which are hearty and delicious. My weight is STABLE. I’m exercising again. My moods are STABLE. My life is becoming stabler and stabler without the constant struggle of an eating disorder on top of a mood/panic disorder. My Xanax has truly been a godsend to me as it’s time release, and I can’t throw it up in order for it to work … HUGE incentive to try and move past all ED behaviors as I need my Xanax to keep panic attacks fully at bay. And it’s ALL WORKING together!

I’m feelin’ pretty damn BADASS, y’all. I’m actually looking forward to Christmas in Seattle without worrying about what I’m going to eat, if I’m allowed to eat, etc. etc. and I’m honestly just enjoying life to the fullest right now!

I bought a new E-Book by Sarah Bowmar today called Wild Game Wild Gains and am planning on trying some of her venison recipes as I need some inspiration when it comes to fixing my deer – I often get stuck in the chili rut and need to branch out as we have a TON of venison headed our way in a few weeks.

I didn’t log my breakfast or lunch today – for the record, I had oatmeal for breakfast, and some roasted veggies with hummus and an apple for lunch – but I did start logging my eats after that, so here ya go!

Snack

Around 3:30, I had a cup of delicious fresh red raspberries – let it snow sugar (but not too, too much)!

I also had a Synergy Trilogy kombucha around 4:30 … I just love me some kombucha, y’all!

At 5:00, I had some Boar’s Head sweet ham, a slice of Pepperjack cheese, and some honey mustard for dipping. Easy peasy, yummy protein!

Dinner

To start dinner off, I had a cup of some leftover Asian salad that we had last night, and I added some extra Sesame Ginger Sauce to it. This was a lovely little hunger-killer for me.

About an hour after my teeny salad, I had some leftover fresh deer liver (sauteed with onions, mushrooms, and bacon) and some roasted broccoli and cauliflower with Fiesta Ranch. Y’all. Something about liver tastes absolutely divine to my tongue. I was nice and full after this meal, yum-o!

I’m just doing so well, and I hate to jinx myself by saying so, but I truly am thriving. It’s truly a thrill to thrive.

In kitty news, the cats all LOVE IT when Luke plays his Xbox – Caprica sits in his arms, Persephone lays on the couch and gets tummy-rub-rubs, and Calliope loves sleeping on the warm box!

Well, that’s all I’ve got for today! Hope you’re healthy and happy today!

~ Mandy

Eating Like a Wonder Woman

Hello, hello! How are you doing today? My kitt lits were being sleepy little buggers this morning, except for Persephone, who is always awake and meowing for pets when I make coffee.

I’m especially thankful for my kitties – my poor sister had her beloved chinchilla Chico put to sleep today, and it reminds me that our furry friends may not be with us as long as we’d like, but they’ll always remain in our hearts. The kitt lits will be receiving extra pets tonight.

I’m happy to report that I’m *finally* adjusted to my Xanax dosage, and I’m feeling a shit-ton better. Med changes suck, but they’re necessary sometimes, especially in my case with the panic disorder diagnosis. Yes, I still have panic attacks about once a week, but they last only an hour or so, not 6-7 hours, so I count that as major improvement.

As for my eating, I’ve made major improvements there too. I’m trying to eat high fiber and high protein for the most part – my goal is to eat three times a day, little to no snacking. My pictures are sometimes broken into several parts because I eat a bite of this and that for my meals. My weight is steadily around 120 – 122 lbs at this point (I’m 5’10”), and I’m chasing muscle mass at this point despite two weeks without going to the gym because of the med switch.

Breakfast

I woke up craving something very savory and sweet, so I made oatmeal! My mix was 1/3 C of Quaker Oats, cashew milk, a banana, 1 tbsp of chia seeds, 1 tbsp of hemp seeds, salt, vanilla, nutmeg, and cinnamon. Pumpkin stirred in at the end with a spoonful of crunchy PB! I had an empty PB jar, which is rare because I eat it so sparingly, so I put my oat mix into that (bonus: no dish is dirtied!). Coffee to drink.

Lunch

Today I had three hard boiled eggs, a piece of whole wheat toast with cream cheese and raspberry jam, and steamed broccoli and carrots with some Sriracha ranch.

I also had an Envy apple with cinnamon.

Workout

I had an appointment to take care of this afternoon, so Luke went to the gym without me and did arms. Hopefully I’ll go tomorrow. 🙂 I felt pretty today in my Wonder Woman sweater, so I had Luke snap a pic. Wonder Woman is my hero, dontcha know.

Snack

I did need a snack today, so I had some steamed carrots and cauliflower with hummus and honey mustard dressing. Ginger root beer Zevia to drink. I just love Zevia, it’s a great alternative to soda.

Dinner

I had half of a tasty ham sandwich (honey wheat whole grain bread, Boar’s Head ham and cheddar, and baby arugula with honey mustard) and two pickles …

… and a Siggi’s vanilla yogurt with raspberries and honey.

Alrighty, those are my eats for the day! May tomorrow be filled with workouts and joy!

~ Mandy

Snick-Snacking

Howdy, howdy! How are you doing today? It’s rainy and cool out, bleh!

I’m up another pound and am currently at 122.6 lbs. Not to shabby, if I do say so myself. Hopefully it’s muscle or food/water weight and not fat … I still have a hangup about gaining fat and not muscle, but that’s a discussion for another time. But no worries – it’s just my mind battling me, and I’m looking so much healthier than I was at 110 lbs, and I’m proud of the steps I’m taking to get fit again.

The bed this morning was overrun with grooming kitties!
Breakfast – 10:00 a.m.

I had pumpkin oatmeal for breakfast, but I switched my mix up a bit – I added hemp seeds and cottage cheese to it (we’re out of bananas, so I had to get creative). Other than that, this was my usual 1/2 C of Quaker Oats, milk, chia seeds, vanilla, salt, nutmeg, and cinnamon with a stir of pumpkin at the end of cooking. Peanut butter to top, coffee to drink! (I didn’t eat my entire portion, just enough to feel full which was about 3/4.)

Lunch – 12:45 p.m.

Lunch was what I usually have for breakfast except amplified. I wilted a large handful of spinach and then added egg whites + 1 regular egg and S+P to the spinach to cook. Shredded cheddar was added at the end. I had my usual three strips of bacon and 1 turkey sausage patty with my eggs.

Workout – 1:30 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.

We did legs today, nothing too special … it was raining HARD once we were done, so we sprinted to the car!

Snack – 2:45 p.m.

I was craving protein like crazy after the gym, so I nuked some turkey and provolone cheese and scarfed my concoction down with plenty of water.

Persephone was snuggled up next to a pair of Luke’s pants on the couch and looked very pleased with herself.

Snack – 4:00 p.m.

I was feelin’ snacky again around 4, so I had a Siggi’s Mixed Berry Yogurt with raspberries and honey. I kinda snick-snacked my way through the evening instead of having a proper dinner.

Cocktail Hour – 5:00 p.m.

I tried Humm mango passion fruit kombucha this evening, and I really enjoyed the flavor! YUM! 😉

Dinner – 7:00 p.m.

I wasn’t too hungry after my large snacks this afternoon, so I kept dinner simple and just roasted some Brussels sprouts and carrots and tossed them with Toasted Sesame Ginger Sauce. At this point, I was drinking a TON of water in preparation for my midnight to morning fast for my ultrasound, so my stomach was quite full.

Now I’m watching Mysteries at the Museum (yay Halloween edition!) and sipping on water with thoughts of making some green tea. The cats are asleep in a line on the couch, most thrilled with themselves.

Here’s hoping my ultrasound goes well tomorrow! Fingers crossed!

~ Mandy

Up a Pound + A Workout

Howdy, howdy! How are you doing today? I’m up a pound, which is great! I’m at 121 lbs today, and I’m hoping it’s because I’m gaining some muscle. Of course, it could just be food or water weight, but I’m pretty happy right now with myself.

Squint-y Calliope says “hello” on this warm, drizzly day!

Persephone says “Leave me alone, woman, I’m trying to lounge!”

Caprica says “I’m sleeping next to my favorite human, Luke, and I’m just so pleased with myself!”

Breakfast – 10:30 a.m.

I had my usual egg white and maple bacon breakfast this morning. It was a little later than usual, but that’s okay.

Lunch –

For lunch today, I was in the mood for vegetables. I roasted some sweet potato, Brussels sprouts, carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli and topped my veg with some light Italian dressing and some hummus. .

I also had three deer meatballs drizzled with BBQ sauce. The picture is messy AF because I heated the meatballs up WITH the BBQ sauce, and it kinda exploded and caramelized.

Workout 1:45 – 2:45 p.m.

Today we braved the warm rain and did chest and back, and I did abs and a few legs.

If I keep this up for a year, imagine how I’ll look and *feel*! That’s my goal, y’all.

Snack – 3:30 p.m.

Soon after the gym, I wanted a snack, so I had an Envy apple with PB and some green tea. I also had a sip of Chobani drinkable Greek yogurt.

Cocktail Hour – 5:30 p.m.

I had a Gingerade Kombucha as my little mocktail while fretting over the ultrasound on my liver (scheduled for Friday). I’m concerned because I truly was quite the little miserable alcoholic. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts tonight … it’s hard because I’m quite the fretter.

Dinner – 6:30 p.m.

I wasn’t really very hungry, so I kept things simple with some cottage cheese, raspberries, and honey. Delish!

Now I’m watching Expedition Unknown and sipping on some tea. Hope you had a fabulous day!

~ Mandy