FriYay Leg Day

Howdy there and Happy Friday to you! How are you doing today?

I’m doing well today. 🙂 My bipolar and my panic attacks seem to be well-managed, and I have ENERGY again after my med switch.

Breakfast

This morning I scrambled three eggs with S+P and topped them with three slices of bacon and salsa. I also had a piece of honey whole wheat toast with butter and raspberry jam. Coffee to drink.

Snack

I needed a small snack this morning, so I had some baby carrots with Sriracha ranch.

After my snack, I went to Target for a few items and nabbed a simple gray $5 clearance dress that I just adore! SCORE! It’s long enough to cover my bum and my upper legs, which always makes me happy.

Lunch

I love the recipe for Honey Soy Chicken, so I marinated some this morning to have for lunch. I baked it and steamed some yellow squash, carrots, and some giant Brussels sprouts. I topped my mashup with some honey mustard dressing and utterly enjoyed my lunch. 😉

Workout

Today we did legs! Man oh man, my butt and upper legs were like jello after our workout …. so happy to have gone! 🙂 Lifting weights truly makes me feel better about myself, so damn empowering.

Snack

After our workout, I had an Envy apple with cinnamon. Oh my, it tasted so yummy and refreshing!

I also had some balsamic roasted cauliflower with honey mustard dressing – just a little snick snack. What can I say except I love me some veggies.

Dinner

I became quite depressed around dinnertime, so I heated up some butternut squash and drizzled it with S+P and ketchup, and I made half of a ham sandwich (cheddar cheese, Boar’s Head ham, arugula and spinach, and some honey mustard on whole wheat toast).

Alrighty, that’s my spiel for today – here’s to a happy tomorrow!

~ Mandy

 

Eating Like a Wonder Woman

Hello, hello! How are you doing today? My kitt lits were being sleepy little buggers this morning, except for Persephone, who is always awake and meowing for pets when I make coffee.

I’m especially thankful for my kitties – my poor sister had her beloved chinchilla Chico put to sleep today, and it reminds me that our furry friends may not be with us as long as we’d like, but they’ll always remain in our hearts. The kitt lits will be receiving extra pets tonight.

I’m happy to report that I’m *finally* adjusted to my Xanax dosage, and I’m feeling a shit-ton better. Med changes suck, but they’re necessary sometimes, especially in my case with the panic disorder diagnosis. Yes, I still have panic attacks about once a week, but they last only an hour or so, not 6-7 hours, so I count that as major improvement.

As for my eating, I’ve made major improvements there too. I’m trying to eat high fiber and high protein for the most part – my goal is to eat three times a day, little to no snacking. My pictures are sometimes broken into several parts because I eat a bite of this and that for my meals. My weight is steadily around 120 – 122 lbs at this point (I’m 5’10”), and I’m chasing muscle mass at this point despite two weeks without going to the gym because of the med switch.

Breakfast

I woke up craving something very savory and sweet, so I made oatmeal! My mix was 1/3 C of Quaker Oats, cashew milk, a banana, 1 tbsp of chia seeds, 1 tbsp of hemp seeds, salt, vanilla, nutmeg, and cinnamon. Pumpkin stirred in at the end with a spoonful of crunchy PB! I had an empty PB jar, which is rare because I eat it so sparingly, so I put my oat mix into that (bonus: no dish is dirtied!). Coffee to drink.

Lunch

Today I had three hard boiled eggs, a piece of whole wheat toast with cream cheese and raspberry jam, and steamed broccoli and carrots with some Sriracha ranch.

I also had an Envy apple with cinnamon.

Workout

I had an appointment to take care of this afternoon, so Luke went to the gym without me and did arms. Hopefully I’ll go tomorrow. 🙂 I felt pretty today in my Wonder Woman sweater, so I had Luke snap a pic. Wonder Woman is my hero, dontcha know.

Snack

I did need a snack today, so I had some steamed carrots and cauliflower with hummus and honey mustard dressing. Ginger root beer Zevia to drink. I just love Zevia, it’s a great alternative to soda.

Dinner

I had half of a tasty ham sandwich (honey wheat whole grain bread, Boar’s Head ham and cheddar, and baby arugula with honey mustard) and two pickles …

… and a Siggi’s vanilla yogurt with raspberries and honey.

Alrighty, those are my eats for the day! May tomorrow be filled with workouts and joy!

~ Mandy

Xanax, Weight Gain, and Other Thoughts

Hey there and Happy Wednesday! How are you doing today?

Long time, no post … I was officially diagnosed with a panic disorder, so that explains a ton. Damn diagnoses, you just keep coming and coming. It’s interesting, I’ve known that I’ve had something going on with my panic attacks for some time now, but it’s nice to finally have a diagnosis of a panic disorder. I’m now on Xanax, which has taken some getting used to … I haven’t felt like working out or anything like that for about two weeks now, but I’m getting back in the game slowly but surely.

Luke and I were fortunate enough to switch gyms – we’re no longer going to Planet Fitness but rather Verdure, a swanky gym in our apartment complex. We LOVE it.

My goal weight is a muscular 135 lbs – I’m currently at 122.4 lbs, so I have a ways to go, but I’m determined.

Breakfast

Breakfast was three scrambled eggs with ham and cheddar cheese with a piece of whole wheat toast, butter, and jam. YUM! Tons of protein here, so it was very filling! (I didn’t need a snack all morning.) Coffee to drink.

Lunch

I first had an Envy apple with cinnamon around 11:40 …

… and then I had some roasted chicken breast with broccoli – honey mustard dressing on the side for dipping.

Workout

Our workout didn’t happen today – Luke is nursing a shoulder, and I was feeling drugged out from Xanax. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow (or the next day, because I have an appointment tomorrow).

Dinner

I started off with some roasted carrots and broccoli with hummus and Sriracha ranch …

… and the I had a Siggi’s yogurt with a banana, honey, and crunchy peanut butter.

Ok, that’s my spiel for today! 🙂

~ Mandy

A Terrible Hot Fall Day

Today was not a good day mood-wise for me. My moods were swinging like a maniac – I was happy this morning, but after lunch, my mood look a terrible turn for the worse. I cried in bed, I cried sitting in front of the TV, I cried in the bathtub, I just cried and cried., and when I wasn’t crying, I was just sitting around with a giant frown on my face and a furrow in my brow.

We went to the gym to do weights, but naturally, I started crying for no real reason at all. Luke was also having a rough day; our workout lasted just 30 minutes, mainly due to my crying and low energy and both of our bad moods.

It was just a terrible hot fall day.

Having a bipolar low is like having a deep dark cloud inside of your head, a black cloud with rain and thunder and lightening bolts. It sucks the life, the energy out of you. Your heart feels heavy, like a giant burden in your chest. Your brain simply tells you to be sad/low without much or any rhyme or reason. You sometimes contemplate ending it all, suicide. You sometimes just cry for hours. You sometimes just sit in your comfortable chair for hours, covered in blankets with a mug of tea, trying to wait it out (that’s what I’m trying to do today).

On a positive note, I *am* happy to report that I’ve been having less eating disordered thoughts (i.e. constantly calling myself a fat pig and thinking I’m fat and need to lose weight) and am focusing more on health and fitness when it comes to keeping my eats in mind. It’s important to fuel my body so I can get my gains, y’all! I’m still pretty thin (I’m at 121.4 lbs this morning, but I’m comfortable at this weight right now). I’m working on it, and that’s what’s important. It’s a long, slow process, but I’ll get there with hard work and mindfulness. I just take it day by day, just as I do with my bipolar disorder.

Breakfast- 9:15 a.m.

I wanted oatmeal for breakfast, but I decided on eggs instead for some unknown reason. I scrambled 3 eggs (we were out of egg whites) and heated up 2 turkey sausage patties for breakfast. Salsa added as usual. I was HUNGRY upon waking up, so I needed something fast and quick. This hit the spot and kept me full until lunch.

Then I ran to the store and grabbed some essentials – TP, paper towels, milk, cereal, coffee, Febreeze, you name it, I got it. It was quite the bill, unfortunately, but we needed stuff. I also went to see my mom who’s going to be gone to Seattle for a week and to get the lowdown on what I need to do at her house while she’s away. Mom gave me a ton of food to eat up too as this is a rather impromptu trip, and she just went to the store.

Lunch – 1:00 p.m.

I did my usual veggie roast with some Brussels sprouts, red bell pepper, carrots, cherry tomatoes, and some sweet potato. I topped the veg with Toasted Sesame Ginger Sauce and some Boar’s Head shaved turkey.

Snack- 3:40 p.m.

At this point in the day, I dejectedly threw together some carrots and cucumber in a hummus container and ate it with hot tears falling down my face.

Cocktail Hour -6:00 p.m.

I’d calmed down significantly around “mocktail” hour. My brain was still sending me signals to be low, but my heart had lifted out of my stomach, and I was feeling a bit more positive overall. I had my usual Trilogy kombucha.

Dinner – 7:00 p.m.

I roasted some BBQ chicken for dinner with some red onion, broccoli, and yellow squash (drizzled with Toasted Sesame Ginger Sauce at the end). Easy peasy, just throw it all in the oven.

I also had four Belgian Chocolate Thins, courtesy of my mom:

Here’s hoping that tomorrow is a better, brighter day in the mood department for me!

~ Mandy

 

 

A Lazy Day

Howdy, howdy! It’s a beautiful day out here in the Texas Panhandle!

Breakfast – I skipped it. Not on purpose, but I was busy this morning and not hungry at all. No, not really a healthy way to start the day, but I had tons of get up and go, and I had a few errands to run. Much coffee was consumed, however. To be honest, I think I was a wee bit manic. Just something that happens when you’re bipolar, y’all. I managed to settle down around 11, which is good.

Lunch – 12:10 p.m.

My guts were *not* having it today, so much Pepto was consumed – I had diarrhea and gut pain. I decided to keep lunch simple by roasting some red bell pepper, broccoli, and carrots (veggies were truly the only thing that sounded reasonably good to me) and topping them with some Toasted Sesame Ginger Sauce. I also had a turkey and provolone cheese roll up.

Snack – 2:00 p.m.

Since I skipped breakfast and had a meager lunch, I wanted a snack by 2, so I had an Envy apple with peanut butter and cinnamon. Moroccan Mint Green Tea to sip.

Today we did not work out, and I’m thankful – I’m afraid I might have had an accident of the gastrointestinal kind!

Cocktail Hour – 4:00 p.m.

I wanted my kombucha a little earlier than usual as I hoped it might settle down my digestive system.

Dinner – 6:00 p.m.

We decided to mix it up and go to Fuddruckers for hamburgers and onion rings. I wasn’t sure how my tummy would handle this, but as I type this, I am okay thus far. We both got buffalo burgers with Swiss cheese, mushrooms, and onions and topped with tomato and lettuce and ketchup. So delicious yet messy!! 🙂 The onion rings were fabulous as usual, and we still can’t decide if we like the jalapeno cheddar or the fry sauce the best for them.

We truly had a lazy day here – we were hoping to pick up a U-Haul trailer or find someone with a trailer so we can haul Luke’s 4-Runner and another car to the shop, but today we had no luck. Oh well, there’s always Monday for us (Luke’s off on Monday) or next Saturday.

Now I’m watching Ghost Adventures (ugh) on Travel Channel – I wish they’d show re-runs of The Dead Files instead!

Hope you had a nice day!

~ Mandy

 

Ultrasounds + Moods + Alcoholics and Kombucha

Howdy there! How are you today?

I got up bright and early for my ultrasound, and the results should be in by Monday, so that’s positive. My weight is down to 119 lbs today for some reason (despite eating candy due to emotional eating out of nervousness for my ultrasound), but I’m not too concerned – I’m sure it’s just a natural fluctuation because I was fasting last night and this morning.

Breakfast – 10:00 a.m.

I bought two ultimate breakfast tacos from Rosa’s Cafe and scarfed them down – I was starving after fasting! They were delicious. I also bought a chocolate mocha coffee from Roasters, our local coffee shop, and it was *divine.*

Lunch – 1:15 p.m.

I wasn’t terribly hungry after my giant breakfast, so I made my favorite veggies, roasted carrots and Brussels sprouts with Toasted Sesame Ginger Sauce, and had a turkey and provolone cheese roll-up.

Workout – 2:00 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.

My mood took a negative turn and I started crying around 2:00 … just a bipolar mood from being an empath. Luke and I went to the gym for just 30 minutes before I just couldn’t do it anymore.

At least we *went* and I tried my hardest for 30 minutes. That’s what counts, y’all. TRYING.

What *did* brighten my day and my mood was receiving this adorable shirt in the mail from Free People – it’s the We The Free Good Find Top, and man, it IS truly a good find! I also got two other items, but they are going back because they just didn’t live up to my expectations. This shirt, however, is PERFECTION. It’s comfortable, flow-y, trendy, and fun, perfect for the fall and winter … I LOVE IT! I may even buy another one with my refund money.

Snack – 4:00 p.m.

For my snack today, I had a few carrots (and some un-pictured broccoli) with hummus. Moroccan Mint Green Tea to drink.

Cocktail Hour – 6:00 p.m.

Tonight I had a Trilogy Kombucha …

On Kombucha and Being a Former Alcoholic

I had a conversation with my sister about kombucha, and she was worried because I was drinking it with my past as an alcoholic. I’m going to bring this up with my doctor next time I see him because I do not want to be harming myself in any way, but for the record, kombucha has a 0.5% – 1% naturally occurring alcohol content because of its fermentation. That’s just a little less than a non-alcoholic beer such as O’Doul’s.

I do not drink kombucha to get drunk, obviously, but I do drink it because of the health benefits, especially the healthy gut support, and because of the taste. Drinking even a little bit of alcohol at this point makes me feel very sick (see the time I made bread pudding, accidentally didn’t cook all of the alcohol out of the Kraken I used, and made myself extremely sick from eating it), and that’s the last thing I want to do to myself. But my sister made a good point – I need to ask Dr. Keister next time I see him about it, just to be sure, but I’m honestly not too concerned about my little mocktail of kombucha each night. I’ll wait to see the results of the ultrasound and go from there.

Dinner – 7:00 p.m.

Tonight I made BBQ chicken breast and veggies (cauliflower, carrots, and red bell pepper served with some Toasted Sesame Ginger Sauce). Easy peasy.

Now I’m sipping on my kombucha and watching TLC’s Kindred Spirits. Hope you had a good day. Mine was so-so mood-wise, but that’s okay … some days are better than others.

~ Mandy

Question: Do you have an opinion on alcoholics and kombucha? Yay or nay?

Snick-Snacking

Howdy, howdy! How are you doing today? It’s rainy and cool out, bleh!

I’m up another pound and am currently at 122.6 lbs. Not to shabby, if I do say so myself. Hopefully it’s muscle or food/water weight and not fat … I still have a hangup about gaining fat and not muscle, but that’s a discussion for another time. But no worries – it’s just my mind battling me, and I’m looking so much healthier than I was at 110 lbs, and I’m proud of the steps I’m taking to get fit again.

The bed this morning was overrun with grooming kitties!
Breakfast – 10:00 a.m.

I had pumpkin oatmeal for breakfast, but I switched my mix up a bit – I added hemp seeds and cottage cheese to it (we’re out of bananas, so I had to get creative). Other than that, this was my usual 1/2 C of Quaker Oats, milk, chia seeds, vanilla, salt, nutmeg, and cinnamon with a stir of pumpkin at the end of cooking. Peanut butter to top, coffee to drink! (I didn’t eat my entire portion, just enough to feel full which was about 3/4.)

Lunch – 12:45 p.m.

Lunch was what I usually have for breakfast except amplified. I wilted a large handful of spinach and then added egg whites + 1 regular egg and S+P to the spinach to cook. Shredded cheddar was added at the end. I had my usual three strips of bacon and 1 turkey sausage patty with my eggs.

Workout – 1:30 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.

We did legs today, nothing too special … it was raining HARD once we were done, so we sprinted to the car!

Snack – 2:45 p.m.

I was craving protein like crazy after the gym, so I nuked some turkey and provolone cheese and scarfed my concoction down with plenty of water.

Persephone was snuggled up next to a pair of Luke’s pants on the couch and looked very pleased with herself.

Snack – 4:00 p.m.

I was feelin’ snacky again around 4, so I had a Siggi’s Mixed Berry Yogurt with raspberries and honey. I kinda snick-snacked my way through the evening instead of having a proper dinner.

Cocktail Hour – 5:00 p.m.

I tried Humm mango passion fruit kombucha this evening, and I really enjoyed the flavor! YUM! 😉

Dinner – 7:00 p.m.

I wasn’t too hungry after my large snacks this afternoon, so I kept dinner simple and just roasted some Brussels sprouts and carrots and tossed them with Toasted Sesame Ginger Sauce. At this point, I was drinking a TON of water in preparation for my midnight to morning fast for my ultrasound, so my stomach was quite full.

Now I’m watching Mysteries at the Museum (yay Halloween edition!) and sipping on water with thoughts of making some green tea. The cats are asleep in a line on the couch, most thrilled with themselves.

Here’s hoping my ultrasound goes well tomorrow! Fingers crossed!

~ Mandy