Feline on a Bike

Howdy there and Happy Saturday! How are you today? I woke up this morning, and the first thing I spotted was Calliope making herself comfortable on Luke’s woolly bike seat! Naughty kitt lit!

She was very pleased with herself, as you can plainly see.

I’m going to try something new with my eating schedule, y’all. I’m going to try eating every two hours or so, and I’m going to break up my meals. For instance, instead of having chicken and veggies in one setting at lunch, I’ll have my chicken around 12, and then my veggies around 2. I’m hoping this routine will help with any hunger pains and help me to eat a little less (I went overboard yesterday with my snacks).

I wasn’t too hungry for breakfast once again, so I scrambled two eggs with a tablespoon of shredded cheese and S+P and topped with salsa. Simple! One cup of coffee with creamer to drink.

Soon after breakfast, I drove to Planet Fitness and did 45 minutes on the elliptical. (Calliope was *still* sleeping on the bike when I got home.) It was a bit of an overcast, rainy, lazy day, so I’m glad that I pushed that into the back of my mind and went to the gym anyway!

My hair braiding is slowly but surely getting neater – I did two French braids this morning before my workout, and they’re looking much tighter and more even. It’s harder for me to do them on clean hair still, it’s much easier when my hair has gone a day without a wash. I tried doing them on my clean hair after my shower in an unsuccessful and frustrating attempt … ah well. I’m getting better.

I had a veggie-snack around 10:30 – sugar snap peas and salted cucumber slices with salsa (I’m a salsa-fiend, what can I say?). Little veggie-snacks keep me sane throughout the day, I have to say.

The first part of my lunch was 6 oz of baked BBQ chicken with some celery and Bacon Cheddar Ranch. I mainly wanted to focus on the chicken, but the plate looked bare, so I added some extra crunch.

Soon after lunch, I ran to the store and bought a ton of tasty goodies! Huzzah! Around 3:30, I had what I’m considering to be my second part of lunch, which was some raw cauliflower and red bell pepper with hummus and salsa.Around 5:30, it was cocktail time! I had a Trilogy Kombucha, and it’s by far my favorite flavor.

Dinner happened around 7. I baked more BBQ chicken and some broccoli, sweet potato, jalapeno, and carrot and placed them all on a bed of lettuce, a bit of rice, and with a sprinkling of cheese. BBQ sauce and Sriracha ranch along with a few Fritos as a topper.

Alrighty, that’s all I got for tonight! πŸ™‚ Hope everyone had a fabulous day – I’m off to watch Ghost Adventures on Travel Channel.

~ Mandy

30 Minutes a Day

Hi there! How are you doing today? My moods have been pretty stable lately, and I’m very thankful! Bipolar disorder is a harsh mistress sometimes, and I still experience bizarre moods throughout the day, but I like to think that I’ve been in a balanced way lately (I’ll have to ask Luke, of course, as he’s the ultimate gauge for my moods, but I think I’ve been steady).

I admit that I had giant LOW and a good cry over my body yesterday … I was convinced that my stomach looked terrible! That’s just part of it, I think, but it sucks when it happens. I’m trying to keep positive and look at any changes in my body as a positive thing, not a detrimental one. After all, my body *is* going to change if I keep working out and eating well. It’s NOT a bad thing at all! I’m just so used to being extremely thin and disordered that it’s hard to see any change, but I’m working on adjusting my perspective.

I’m upping my protein intake for real this time, y’all. I want to see results, so I need to get with the program and stop living off fruits and veggies. So today and from now on, my focus will be on protein, protein, protein. My eats may become a little boring as I tend to eat the same thing once I find a good balance, but I like sharing them on here regardless. πŸ™‚

Breakfast this morning was around 9; I ate two eggs with about a tablespoon of shredded Mexican Blend cheese, S+P, and salsa. 1 cup of coffee with creamer to drink … I’m going to try cutting back. I wasn’t terribly hungry for breakfast, so I had a relatively small meal, but since it was packed with protein, it kept me full until lunch.

Soon after breakfast, I had an inkling to hit the gym. I felt a bit gross because I hadn’t taken a shower, but I washed my face, put on deodorant, put my hair into low pigtails, and I went anyway! I did the elliptical for 30 minutes and walked/ran a bit on the treadmill. I felt *so much better about my body* after exercising, y’all.

My goal is to start doing 30 minutes a day on cardio and keep up with weights – I’d do a hour on the elliptical for a few days in a row and then get burnt out and just do weights. By doing just 30 minutes, I’m getting many health benefits, such as a mood boost, and I can create a little deficit, which I do want (I’d like to lose some more belly fat to show dem abs!). If I’m feelin’ frisky, I can do 30 minutes twice a day. I don’t need to do an entire hour in one setting though … it just makes me too tired, and I need to avoid burn-out.

Luke woke up early and wanted to go to O’Reilly’s for some bike stuff, so I went with him. πŸ™‚ He was up and at ’em and worked on his bikeΒ all afternoon. Yes, it’s parked inside the apartment … no, I don’t mind! We don’t want it to get stolen like Luke’s old one, so it needs to stay inside with us.

Random, but I want to decorate the wall where the bike is – it’s stark white right now, and it just bugs the crap outta me! I’m gonna go to TJ Maxx and Ross to see about some cheap wall decor. I have to do something about that white space, damn it!

Lunch was at 1:00, and I enjoyed 6 oz of baked BBQ chicken (yep, I’m weighing out my proteins), roasted onion, broccoli, cauliflower, and red bell pepper all placed on a bed of spinach with Fiesta Ranch and a little extra Stubb’s BBQ sauce. It was delicious! Chicken salads are a “safe” food for me now, which is GREAT.

Vanilla chai tea with almond-coconut milk and stevia was my beverage of choice with lunch. Tea literally keeps me sane during the day as it’s something to sip and keep my tummy full – it truly helps with purge urges, in my opinion, but those urges are starting to fade.

One of my little “mini-goals” today was to start re-learning how to properly braid my hair! I did two French braids down the back, and although they need to be cleaned up a bit, they looked good enough to wear for the rest of the day, so I was pleased with myself. I want to learn how to do fish-tail braids again too. πŸ™‚ (Not the most flattering pic of me – the shadow makes me look like I have major crows feet, but I was proud, ha!) I want to have much longer hair, and I need to learn how to braid again.

I needed a pick-me-up, so I had a smoothie for a snack around 3:30 – my mix was Protein One vanilla, almond-coconut milk, a tablespoon of chia seeds, cinnamon, vanilla, and ice. Yummy!

I also munched on an apple and some peanut butter yogurt dip (I *love* that stuff, and the recipe makes a ton!).

I wasn’t very hungry around my usual dinnertime due to my large snack. Instead, I watched TV and simply vegged out in my cozy old blue socks (they are getting holes in them, damn it, but I still wear them because they’re so damn comfortable). The apartment was very clean, so I didn’t have any catching up to do this evening, which made me happy. I had planned on going back to the gym to do 30 more minutes of cardio, but I was ultimately too lazy return to the gym … oh well! I already went once, so that’s good enough for a Friday night.

I had my kombucha cocktail around 6:30 … Gingerade this time because my tummy needed some soothing after my big snack! Dinner was much later than usual, but that’s perfectly fine with me! I had more BBQ chicken with roasted onion and broccoli and a bit of rice drizzled with some ranch, BBQ, and a dab of salsa. Easy peasy, yum, yum.

Now I’m watching Expedition Unknown and trying not to think about my full tummy! Hope you had a great day, y’all!

~ Mandy

 

 

 

Back on the Wagon

Howdy there! How are you doing today? I’m back on the healthy eating bandwagon today … yesterday was filled with indulgence, and my tummy was literally stuffed to the gills with greasy meat, fried foods, and sugary goodies. I thought briefly about throwing in the towel and *not* documenting my eats yesterday, but I pushed past my trepidation and posted on the new motorcycle and my food anyway, and I’m glad I did! It’s okay to indulge on occasion, after all. πŸ™‚ Today I was bloated though, and I didn’t sleep very well last night because my stomach was just so stinkin’ full of junk! Healthy eating challenge accepted today.

So without further adieu, onto the eats of the day!

I had a slice of Dave’s Killer Bread with 1/2 of a baby avocado, an egg, and salsa for breakfast. 1 cup of coffee with salted caramel chocolate creamer to drink … I switched to vanilla chai tea after savoring my one creamy cuppa, and that seemed to do the trick.

Celery and Laughing Cow Cheese as a snack! Crunch, crunch, crunch.

I had some major anxiety this morning as my Dad wanted me to come see a new crock pot that he bought (really just an excuse to see us), and seeing him is a big source of terror. He kind of tricked me into agreeing that I’d come see him today – I’m too much of a people pleaser –Β  and I did not want to go. He’s a source of terrible anxiety, PTSD, and is also a trigger for my eating disordered behaviors.

I try to remember that I’m *stronger* than he is – I beat alcoholism, after all, and he hasn’t been able to do that – and that he is no longer in control of my life and can do nothing else to hurt me, not if I don’t let him. All in all my anxiety was in vain as we had a nice visit around 1:30, and he talked primarily about cooking and the work he’s been doing at the ranch. We plan on visiting the ranch around the 4th of July, so that’s good.

Lunch was a big ol’ bowl of fruit! Strawberries, red grapes, and raspberries for the win! So yummy, fresh, and delightful. I just adore fruit.

Luke and I also ran some errands and went to the store this afternoon, and despite spending a fortune on kitty litter and cat food (Petsmart got some $$ from us today), we also got the ingredients to make enchiladas. I whipped up a batch when we got home for Luke’s dinners when he works!

Soon after I made enchiladas, it was 5 o’clock and my cocktail time! I had a Hibiscus Ginger Kombucha and some cucumber and bell pepper with salsa … the salsa kinda plopped onto the plate, so please ignore the messiness. I also ate a peach.

Luke went riding on his new bike with Joe, so I was on my own for dinner tonight. I had leftover rotisserie chicken and needed to eat it up, so I served it on spinach and some roasted broccoli and cauliflower, and I drizzled on some light Fiesta Ranch. This was a very beige dinner, but it was tasty and very filling!

Now I’m snuggled up in my bathrobe, am chilling with some mint green tea, and am watching Expedition Unknown, one of my favorite shows. I need to clean up the apartment, but the cats and I are being lazy. Oh well, I’ll clean up in an hour or two. πŸ˜‰ Today’s eats seemed to be healthy and light, so I’m happy about that … I need to keep cleansing my system from that junky day I had!

Have a pleasant evening, y’all!

~ Mandy

 

 

The New Bike

Howdy there! How are you doing today? Luke and I went to Atlus, OK to pick up his new motorcycle yesterday, so I thought it’d be fun to share about our day. It was filled with happiness and FAR too much food. Seriously, as I type this, I’m still *full* from eating so much, and it’s breakfast time!

I toasted up two slices of Dave’s Killer Bread and spread them with peanut butter, added a banana and some chia seeds, cinnamon, and coconut, and I drizzled it all with honey for breakfast.

This was a departure from my usual apple a day breakfast, but I needed something filling this morning as I’m trying to eat more and fret less about my weight. This meal was very tasty and left me extremely satisfied – I think I’ll try just one slice of toast next time, but dang, it was good.

Coffee with Salted Caramel Chocolate Creamer to drink … three cups of it! I was needing a caffeine buzz this morning. I think I need to dial back the coffee (i.e. caloric creamer) in the mornings, so I may just have one cup with the good stuff from now on, and then switch to black or tea.

Luke and I hit the road by 12, and we stopped for Subway for lunch around 12:45. I got a 6″ teriyaki chicken sandwich with pepper jack cheese on an Italian Herb and Cheese roll with lettuce, spinach, tomato, olive, and pickle with honey mustard dressing.

I did something completely out of character for me on this trip, y’all. I bought candy! I had a giant 3 Musketeers bar … it reminded me of why I don’t eat candy though – it’s a ton of calories and it’s not very filling at all.

We made it to Altus around 3, and we got a glimpse at Luke’s new bike immediately! It’s a beaut!

It didn’t take very long to buy the bike – only about 10 minutes since Luke paid with cash. Happy husband was thrilled to ride his new toy home! He’s adorable here – he rode in the 100 degree heat for nearly 3 hours, and I’m not sure how he did it! He had fun on the ride home though, so I’m beyond thrilled for him!

I was munchy around 4 on the way home, so I had an apple and a Sunbelt bakery bar in fudge dipped chocolate chip … not very good, but it helped alleviate my hunger.

Dinner was at Burger Bar, a local burger and fries joint, and we ate with our friend Joe (the motorcycle class instructor). I started off with the balsamic and bacon Brussels sprouts ….

And ended with the jalapeno cream cheese burger with fries. It was delicious, but it left me feeling FAR too full …

I ended up having a terrible sleep because my tummy was just so bloated and upset, so poop! Oh well, tomorrow will be a new day!

Question of the Day: Do you eat candy?

Happy trails, y’all!

~ Mandy

 

Not a Number

So, so, so. I’ve been doing some pretty heavy thinking, and I’ve come to a conclusion here. What does it ultimately matter what I weigh? NOTHING. I am *not* a number on a scale … too long I have been just a number on a scale, a clothing size, a waist measurement. It doesn’t fucking matter what I weigh, it matters who I am INSIDE. I want to be healthy and happy, not just a ridiculous number. I know that’s not a difficult conclusion to make for most of us, but those of us with ED brains and tendencies do not make this connection at all. I’m dead serious. I asked Luke today how he knows that he’s not fat … he said that he just has to look in the mirror to know, and this was a completely foreign concept to me. I look in the mirror and see a large girl standing there, not someone who wears a size x small … I hope that someday my perceptions will change.

After all, who cares if I weigh 125 lbs or 140 lbs? NOBODY BUT ME, and I’m absolutely tired of caring about it. I *am* beautiful just the way I am, and if I gain a few pounds, it does not matter one bit. So what if I have to buy some new clothes? So what? Normal people don’t fret over such nonsense. Most people don’t feel guilty when they eat as they are simply giving their bodies FUEL. I need to remember that I have to fuel my body properly to function properly, and that’s that! Yes, I do not want to get fat again, but I’m not headed in that direction at all – I’m lifting weights, doing some cardio, and I eat healthy foods. That’s my little rant for the day.

Breakfast was cottage cheese with some mango, pineapple, a drizzle of honey, and some multigrain Cheerios. Coffee with Salted Caramel Chocolate Creamer to drink. This meal was just the right size for me, not too skimpy and not too filling.

Lunch was a packet of ranch tuna on cucumber with salsa and a tbsp of Fiesta ranch. I was looking for something light, and this did the trick! Easy peasy.

I had a small taste of chicken around 3:30, which I didn’t document. Luke and I bought a freshly roasted chicken at United, and it smelled to good not to sample! I also had a little bowl of red grapes. Getting a hair up my ass, I made some Healthy Fruit Dip and ate half of my grapes and an apple with it … yum!

I had my usual kombucha cocktail around 5:00, and I tried a new flavor – Lavender Love. It really had a nice hint of lavender in it (duh), and I liked it … not my favorite, but hey, I had to try it!

I’m not gonna lie, today has not been my best day ever. I had some depression this afternoon, and I didn’t hit the gym today … but that’s okay! Tomorrow is a new day, after all, and I’m pretty stable tonight despite being low energy (when I have depressions, my energy gets drained very quickly).

For dinner, I had some roasted chicken breast from United with a baby avocado and some sweet potato rounds served with BBQ sauce and ketchup.

I’m about to fall asleep, so I’m just doing to wish y’all a happy evening!

~ Mandy

 

Father’s Day

Howdy there! How are you doing today? My post is a little bit off today compared to my usual eats. Father’s Day has brought up a host of anxiety and mania for me (bad memories of my father, ya know – he’s the source of my PTSD, and it’s difficult).

I texted my Dad and wished him a happy Father’s Day, and then he unfortunately texted back that I needed to come see him today and watch DVDs on his sound system. I FREAKED, y’all.

My Dad and I don’t talk very much – we never call but only text, and we text very rarely – so this development just threw my anxiety into high gear. I raced around the apartment doing nothing at all – I was in full blown panic mode! Luckily I was honest and told my Dad that I didn’t feel well enough to get out to see him today, and that was that. After I did that, I fell into a manic state and started deep cleaning like a fiend (that’s what I do when I’m manic, y’all, I CLEAN).

Breakfast was a nice big Ambrosia apple. I wasn’t in the mood for peanut butter or cinnamon on it, I just wanted to taste the apple in all of it’s pure glory, so I went with it.

Here’s where my day gets weird: I truly wasn’t hungry at all. Something about Father’s Day put me off food, I think – it brings up high anxieties and bad memories for me, and my mania and panic didn’t help one bit. Throughout the day, I sipped on ice cold water, and for some reason, it kept me very satisfied.

At 3:00, I had a coffee with salted caramel chocolate creamer and thoroughly enjoyed it. Still not hungry. In fact, I had a knot in my stomach after I drank my coffee.

At 5:00, I had my usual kombucha – Gingerade this time ’round, and it sure was refreshing.

Around 5:30, I decided to try eating some fruit, so I had a cup of pineapple and a cup of watermelon with Tajin Seasoning. It was delicious.

Around 7:00, I ate some roasted veg – broccoli, zucchini, yellow squash, carrot, green onion, and jalapenos. I topped them with my usual 2 tbsp of Fiesta Ranch, 2 tbsp of hummus, and some salsa.

I’m exhausted now from my mania and am planning on taking a bath and having some tea or coffee. I hope you had a better Father’s Day than I did for sure!

~ Mandy

 

 

A New Perspective + Secret Salmon Sauce

Y’all. Last night I looked in theΒ  mirror and actually ADMIRED my body. I saw it all as it should be – the abs sticking out against my full belly, my muscular arms, my beautiful shape, my bare face, my lovely hair, my wide shoulders, my strength. I *am* gorgeous, and I need to treat myself as such. Yes, it’s hard to do that when your brain constantly tells you that you are ugly and fat, but I am absolutely NOT those things. This is HUGE for me, and I truly hope it becomes my normal with a new perspective of my body.

I’m still coasting around 125 lbs (today I was 126.2 lbs), and I still want to gain about 5 to 10 lbs in muscle weight. I’m trying to bulk up, and I need to eat more protein to do it! So today’s eats were centered around protein.

Breakfast this morning was two scrambled eggs with S+P and mozzarella cheese, two slices of bacon, and a piece of Dave’s Killer Bread with butter and strawberry jam. Yummy and filling with a goodly amount of protein. I considered not adding the toast, but I love me some Dave’s Killer Bread, so I toasted up a slice and thought “fuck it, I deserve toast today!” I’m glad I did because it was delish.

OJ and coffee to drink. I bought this cute cat mug at TJ Maxx yesterday … I just love it! I’m a bit of a mug hoarder, and I need to acquire a few more for my collection.

Soon after breakfast, I put on some workout clothes and headed to Planet Fitness. I did weights for about 30 minutes while listening to Miss Saigon, huzzah!

I also had a return to make at TJ Maxx, and then I drove to Target and DillardsΒ  where I found the Free People Crossfire Cami that I’ve been wanting on sale in black, so I bought it. I immediately put it on upon returning home, and I just love it! Totally worth the money to me, AND it was on sale … a win win.I also did a ton of sit ups and lunges at home.

I had a salmon fillet for lunch complete with my Dad’s secret salmon sauce (recipe below). It sure is delicious! As a side dish, I had some seasoned and roasted red bell pepper, broccoli, zucchini, and carrot with a dash of EVOO. I put a drizzle of Fiesta Ranch and a dab of salsa on the veg, in typical Mandy fashion. Vanilla Chai Tea to drink.

Gary’s Secret King Salmon Sauce

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/4 C Mayonnaise
  • 2 Tbsp Dijon Mustard
  • 1 Tbsp Dill Weed
  • 1/2 Tbsp Coarse Ground Pepper
  • 1/2 Tbsp Curry Powder
  • 1/2 Tbsp Cumin
  • 2 Tsp Thyme
  • 2 Tsp Paprika (Optional)
  • 2 Tbsp Lemon Juice
  • 1 Tbsp Soy Sauce
  • 2 Cloves of Garlic, Finely Diced
  • 1/2 Onion, Pureed (Can Sub Green Onion)
  • 1/4th Juice of a Fresh Lemon

Directions: Spread a thick layer on the fish, seal it up in foil, and bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees for 33 to 40 minutes. When done, the fish should flake easily when prodded with a fork.

I’m not a mayonnaise fan at all, y’all, but I’ll eat this sauce! It’s just SO GOOD.

Caprica made herself comfortable on Luke and his computer this afternoon.

We went to Planet Fitness around 3:00 and did some weights. Luke was very low energy today (he’s been working long hours), so we didn’t do as much as we usually do, but that’s okay! We went regardless and did something. Plus, it was my second time today, so I felt pretty good about what I did.

I wanted a snack around 4:00, so I had a Brown Cow Apricot Mango yogurt with raspberries, strawberries, a drizzle of honey, and a sprinkling of chia seeds, coconut, and almonds. Yum! I just *adore* fruit, and fresh berries never disappoint.

Around 5 o’clock, it was kombucha time! πŸ˜‰ I sipped on a Gingerberry Kombucha and thoroughly enjoyed it. I just love my little mock-tail. I should branch out and make a virgin Bloody Mary sometime.

I also had a little tasting plate of fresh veggies! I ate on some bacon cheddar ranch, hummus, snap peas, broccoli, red bell pepper, and cucumber, all sprinkled with salt. They really took the edge off my hunger.

Dinner was part chicken stir fry with rice and part Sweet and Spicy Baked Cauliflower. The cauliflower was definitely my favorite part! Yum, yum!

I ate a little too much today, but I’m dealing with it in stride. I think I’ll try to push past having *two* snacks before dinner. If I had just eaten the cauliflower for dinner, I would have been fine, methinks, but I wanted to get in some protein. Oh well, tomorrow is another day!

Now I’m watching Ghost Adventures and am thinking about vacuuming the apartment! It’s *chilly* in here, and it’s 109 degrees outside (I have a blanket around my shoulders, ha!). I may make some tea too. πŸ™‚

Hope you’ve had a great day!

~ Mandy